The Most Stressful Day

Wednesday 03Nov2010

All the family is feeling more healthly this morning.  We enjoyed our last breakfast buffet and finished packing our bags.  We met our guide in the lobby who asked us how many bags we had.  She was amazed that we said we had 15 bags.  She is single and doesn't have a family perspective.  We mentioned that each person had one bag to be checked (at the airline or train station) and one carry on.  We are undoubtedly the largest family she has ever had which became apparent throughout our stay in Guangzhou.

The rest of the day was perhaps the most challenging and stressful of our entire stay.  We took a hotel shuttle to the train station not far from the U.S. Consulate.  Thankfully, we had one hotel staff stay with us until our baggage was ready for the ticket gate which was not an easy process.  He was very helpful and patient.  In retrospect, I wish I had tipped him even more.  The check in process is similar to that of airlines.  Remembering that there are over 1.3 billion people in China helps us understand why the lines are so long.  Also, trains are the preferred means of mass transit within China making the station even more crowded and noisy.  And remembering the "me first" attitude explains why "cutting" in line is a cultural norm.  All this with a set departure time, no lunch, and still no Visa for Jessa caused us a lot of stress.  So finally after getting our baggage scanned and while waiting at the ticket gate for the Visa we decided to get some lunch.  Wouldn't you know it, as soon as lunch was ordered and paid for (but not ready or eaten) the Visa came.  As the line kept growing we finally received our food.  Our guide Elsie "cut" us in line at the ticket gate because we had so many children - I guess when cutting is in our favor it's not so bad - what a double standard I live :-).  An impatient train staff had the bulk of our baggage as we waited to get our passports checked.  We didn't know where he went while we stood in line causing us additional concern.  Finally, after getting through the passport check we spotted our baggage.  The train staff took us to an elevator which could only hold half our family.  He was upset when we prevented the doors from closing so the half the family waiting for the elevator to return would know which level to go to.  Once we were all gathered together on the train platform our luggage was loaded on the train near the door.  As it happened I was a little further in the train car getting our children settled and getting our carry on bags stowed while this train staff was very upset at Gwenn that I hadn't yet paid him.  After Gwenn had told me the check baggage was all on and that the train staff was upset I went and paid him with extra and said "Merry Christmas!" because of his attitude.  I guess he had been burned before and he didn't trust foreigners.

The actual train ride was nice - no traffic to negotiate or lane changes or supposed near death experiences.  It was nice just to sit and watch the scenery go by - which was my intention in the beginning remembering how nice it was in England to take the trains.  After being in large cities the whole time I really wanted to see some country - we only saw very little as most of the area between Guangzhou and Hong Kong was populated.  We arrived in Hong Kong at dusk.  Getting off the train was definately easier than getting on.  We rolled our three baggage carts across the overpass to the Harbor Metropolis Hotel where we had our reservations.  After having the staff make extensive checks our reservation was not to be found.  Even our attempts to make phone calls to America to our Travel Agent and Social Worker did not work.  And looking at the hotel lobby we knew we couldn't affort to pay out-of-pocket for two rooms.  Fortunately, the Concierge members booked a room in a hotel near the airport and scheduled a van to take us there.  We were extremely amazed that the staff were so helpful and courteous to us while knowing we would not being staying there.  After waiting an additional hour in the htoel lobby our van arrived and we were taken for a 30 minute drive toward the airport and our hotel.  The skyline of Hong Kong is beautiful with its tall buildings and night lights set amongst a mountainous backdrop.  It took a while to get checked in to the Regal Airport Hotel.  Finally in our room it was after 10 PM and we hadn't yet eaten dinner so we ordered room service - the first time during our entire journey.  Since we have to get up at 5:00 AM to catch our plane this will be a very short night.

In addition to this being a stressful day we had hoped to be able to spend a few hours in Hong Kong and perhaps even drive by the LDS Temple.  Time did not permit so we had to pacify ourselves in knowing that we were merely spending the night in this legendary "east meets west" city.

Prayers offered, Prayers answered, and Journeying Home

I just got off the phone with Gwenn. It is Wednesday morning there (Tuesday night here) and they will be packing and getting ready to take the train from Guangzhou, China to Hong Kong, China later this afternoon. The family is definitely ready to be home and this is the beginning of the almost two day journey.



Gwenn’s first statement to me when I answered the phone was that “not much to report from here in the way of touring news because half of the family has had the stomach flu”. As was stated in earlier posts Spencer has been dealing with something the past few days but in the last 24 hours Spencer, Katelynn and Nathan have been plagued with the stomach flu. They are fairing as well as possible. Nathan has been able to still give blessings to the children and he himself has gotten much sleep. Gwenn confided in me that she has the beginnings of an unsettled stomach but hasn’t shared the news with the family as she doesn’t want to worry them. Along with dealing with the stomach issues, there are a few last hurdles that must be dealt with before they begin their travels.


One of them is that Brandon’s suitcase zipper has broken and they need to find a new suitcase for their travels home. Gwenn said that shouldn’t be too hard to find. The most difficult part of it all (which really isn’t difficult but “old” at this point) will be the bartering process that happens. She looks forward to getting home and knowing there is a price for items and she doesn’t have to haggle for everything she buys.


A second hurdle is to get Jessa’s visa. They still do not have it as of yet. They have asked their guides if they should delay their train ride just in case there are problems but the guides have assured them that all will be well. To put this in perspective they must check out of their hotel room at 2pm. They will go to the train station and wait for the couriers to bring the visa somewhere around 3pm. They need to check into the train station for their trip at 3:30pm and the train leaves at 4:15 pm. There isn’t much room for error on this one. As I have talked with Gwenn she knows that all will be well. Her faith is strong. Even if they don’t get the visa in time (which means they miss the train and will sit there until they get the visa and then take a train at a later time….) all will be well.


Once they get to Hong Kong Gwenn had hoped that somehow they would be able to take a taxi to the Hong Kong Temple to have pictures taken there. With the stomach issues and bits of chaos she is unsure if this will be able to happen.


I have put their family’s names on the temple prayer roll that as they travel and journey, these last few days, that all will be well and that whatever happens they will be able to roll with the punches. At various times as I have talked with Gwenn over the past few weeks she as stated over and over again that she can truly feel the prayers of home. She senses that many are praying for her and her family and that the blessings they have, and are receiving, are because of all the amazing friends and family at home.


On a lighter note: Gwenn said that Jessa is a ball of energy. Last evening (their Tuesday night) Jessa and Brandon got a bit crazy and wild. As Gwenn said “Jessa Super Novad last night”. She said Jessa just went and went and went until she “hit the wall” and exhaustion took over and she crashed. Gwenn said none of her other children have had this much energy……the plane ride home is gonna be fun!! :)


Gwenn shared a very sacred and special experience that she and Nathan have had in the past few days. She asked that I share the story as it has strengthened her faith as she has watched the faithfulness of others.


The cute couple they met a few days ago, that live in Ogden, Utah, has really touched their hearts. This family has four biological children, like Nathan and Gwenn, and they have now pursued the adoption of a child from China in spite of not knowing how it would all come together. In having a conversation with the wife Gwenn found out that this couple is literally out of money and have been living off of ramen noodles for themselves and getting rice for their baby. This also means that when they arrive in Hong Kong things will be even harder as items cost that much more there. The couple said that before heading to China they knew they would run out of money before returning home but felt a great assurance that somehow their needs would be met and that they would be blessed by their Heavenly Father, and that they must proceed with getting their child home. Gwenn said that in sharing this information the wife was never bitter or negative (no “pity me”) but instead had a good attitude, and her spirit was positive as she shared this information. She knew that all would be well. Gwenn shared that she felt humbled by this act of faith and questioned if she herself could act without knowing how all the pieces would go together, especially financially. Gwenn and Nathan later had a conversation and realized that because of the NUMEROUS gifts and the INCREDIBLE generosity of so very many friends, family and co-workers that their own immediate needs have been met and that they had some monetary “surplus” that ultimately they didn’t “need” while in China. They found a card, wrote a special note and offered this monetary gift to this couple. The couple returned with a heartfelt thank you! Some of their burdens have been alleviated for the time being and Gwenn knows that ultimately this couple’s prayer was answered because so many answered the prayer and needs of Gwenn and Nathan. It is a strange irony that as you allow people to serve you, you become available to and are able to serve others. Gwenn wanted this sacred story shared to let those who helped them know that ultimately 2 babies have been brought home to loving families because of the humble and GENEROUS gifts given.


Gwenn said that most likely I will not get any phone calls or emails for the remainder of their travels as each new city and area makes it a bit crazy in figuring out how to make contact. She looks forward to getting home and sharing all of the amazing experiences they have had first-hand with everyone.


She loves you all!!

Notes based on a phone call from Gwenn to her Mom

Monday; November 1, 2010
Along with 33 other adoptive families, Gwenn, Nathan, and the children, went to the swearing-in ceremonies at the Consulate. Spencer had been sick again during the night, but recovered with rest during the day. While boarding the train to the Consulate, Gwenn and Nathan noticed a man with a T-shirt that said “Moab”, and so they asked if he was from Utah. He replied, “No, it’s just a T-shirt.” But then, from behind, they heard someone say, “Ogden”. They met an LDS couple from Ogden who had also adopted a little girl. Gwenn was so happy as now Jessa will grow up with a friend adopted the same day as herself. They also met a Christian shopkeeper, and were able to give him a Mormon Tabernacle Choir CD. He gave Jessa her first sucker, and Gwenn decided to get a few more for the 14-hour trip home.

Jessa has opened up to the rest of the family, in addition to Gwenn. She is now allowing them to hold her – a blessing for Gwenn’s back. Gwenn reports that Jessa is interested in finding out how everything works, from a ball-point pen to the Velcro on her shoes. She has a great appetite and even likes chicken nuggets, although fruits and vegetables are her favorites. The family will spend the day touring and preparing for their trip to Hong Kong.

Monuments and Miracles



Monument

 Sunday 31Oct2010

Happy Halloween! Today we went to two monument sites and to an exceptionally beautiful park. While at the first monument it seems the locals really like pictures with Michaella.



Locals want pictures with Michaella



Locals want pictures with Michaella





A Banyan Tree in the City Park

 There are also Banyan Trees all over. There trees are usually very large and it looks like a tree with a parasite that has grown over the top of it. Notice how these trees can send a "root" down from an upper branch which becomes another root for the tree.




Five Goats Monument

 

Both Spencer and Jessa were not feeling well when we got back to the hotel for lunch. Finally, Pizza from Papa John’s, Yeah! Spencer had been begging for pizza for over a week but by the time it arrived it was clear he was too ill to eat. He had fever, chills, and a headache on into the evening. Motrin helped and he just stayed in bed and slept. Jessa seemed to feel better after a nap. She was still getting over her immunizations from yesterday. Nathan stayed with Spencer while the rest of the family went shopping on the boulevard and went looking for dinner. We were all pretty tired after that and went to bed.

Five Goats marker

At midnight I discovered that Spencer was burning up with a fever. No longer a low to mid-grade fever - his temperature was extremely high and another dose of motrin did not help. I woke up Nathan and asked him to give Spencer a blessing. Back at customs several days before Nathan's oil had been pulled and we were asked what it was. I'm so glad it was not confiscated. Ten minutes after the blessing he was quite a bit cooler. Five minutes more and I could feel even less temperature. Spencer's fever was out of danger and we were all able to sleep again.

So let's take a minute to recount some of the miracles of the trip.



"Underneath the Mango Tree me honey..."



1. Spencer was healed.

2. The boys have stayed alive on breakfast buffets and rice and water for the most of the balance of the meals.

 3. Jessa already knew her name. From the first time we called her "Jessa" she has turned her head and known it was her name - we didn't need to teach her. For many months now we have prayed asking that XiYue be prepared to meet us and be able to trust us and that we love her and will always take care of her. From her transition so far this has happened. Jessa bonded quickly with me and every day her bond strengthens with other members of the family. She has made herself quite at home in the hotel rooms and she wonders from one room to the other (our rooms are connected with a door). She likes to play games and has quite a sense of humor. She is very courious. At meal times she has definate opinions about her food and will shake her head for "yes" or "no". This type of communication really helps us know what she wants. At night, when it's time to go to bed, she cries for about 10-15 minutes in her crib then just goes to sleep. This time interval keeps getting a little shorter each time.




4. Jessa's immunization record was lost and then recovered in time saving Jessa from having extra shots unnessary shots.

 5. You! This trip was possible because of the love and service of a whole host of people which continues still. Thank you for everyone's thoughts and prayers.

This list of course is not exhaustive, but is just a few of the highlights. We miss you, love you, and can't wait to come home!

Medical Checkup

Thursday 28Oct2010

This was a siteseeing day. We visited Nanchang's city park and zoo. Jessa enjoys being outside as much as possible. She is very interested with all the sights and sounds of outside.

Friday 29Oct2010

Today we boarded the airplane for the city of Guang Zhou in the Guang Dong Province. It has a population of 13 million people and has a warmer climate. This was Jessa's third airplane trip. The first two were when she was flown to Beijing when she had her corrective surgery. She did very well but she got restless near the end of the 1.5 hour flight. She doesn't like cramped quarters - a definite foreboding for our return flight to American of 14 hours. We arrived at the White Swan Hotel which is where every adoptive couple comes before leaving the country. After arriving at the hotel we had Jessa's picture taken for her Chinese Passport. Then we called it a day. As each day goes by Jessa gets more comfortable. Tonight she was walking all over the place making funny noises and laughing. However, once bedtime came she cried for all she was worth. She was angry that we put an end to her fun. We had to restrain ourselves and leave her in the crib so that she would retain some of her orphanage training - that of going to sleep when it's time and not requiring parents to hold her for a long time until she doses off. It worked. She cried for about 15-20 minutes and then gave up and went to sleep. Otherwise, she would have continued her funny escapades.




Saturday 30Oct2010 at 9:45


Healthcare Center



Jessa right before immunizations



We took Jessa for her medical exam and immunizations at the Guangdong International Travel healthcare Center a few blocks from the hotel. We left our other children in the hotel room to do homework. The examination was a three-part process. The first part was Medicine and Surgery. Here the doctore examined Jessa to see that her motor skills and walking were good. He also examined her surgery and found that everything looked good. The second part was Height, Weight, and Temperature. Jessa was good in these vitals as well. The third part was the ENT. Jessa was also found healthy here. The final process was to update Jessa on her immunizations. She only need four - two shots in both legs. When we walked into the immunization room she started to cry before receiving any shots. We had to hold her arms and legs down while she received them. Jessa is a very strong girl. It didn't take too long before she had settled down and stopped crying. It was totally swamped and very loud. This process took about 3 hours since there were dozens of couples here with their adoptive children. They had come from all over China. Amid the many couples here it was comforting to be able to see and talk with many from America.

 

Long lines





Boulevard

Located right next to the White Swan Hotel are several square blocks which are centered around a beautiful boulevard. Walking through this boulevard felt similar to walking around Temple Square. The buildings and grounds are very well maintained. There were lots of large trees, multiple colors of flowers, several varieties of plants, bronze sculptures, and couples getting wedding photos taken everywhere. Just in our return to the hotel we counted about 8 couples. This area was very peaceful and the most restful of all the places we have been so far.



Wedding picture




Spencer found french fries

 

When we returned to the hotel we took the whole family out to lunch at Lucy's. This is a restaurant caters to all the western visitors at the White Swan. The rest of the day was spent taking naps and hanging out in the hotel room. We went shopping for an hour and then returned to Lucy's for dinner.











Orphanage, Place of Abandonement, The Great Pavilion, and driving



 Orphanage--outer entrance

Wednesday (27Oct2010) was another day we have greatly anticipated. After breakfast we visited the orphanage located about 30 minutes from our hotel. We recognized the building as soon as we were in front since we were able to find a picture of it on the internet earlier in the summer. It felt amazing that we were now in front of the same orphanage we have looked at for so long on the internet. After arriving we met most of XiYue's nannys and care-takers. From their expressions XiYue was a popular well-liked girl. They were so happy to hold XiYue while we communicated through our guide's translations. We were overwhelmed by the love they had toward XiYue.





Orphanage - inner entrance

This exchange took place right outside a low window full of children about Spencer's age or a little younger. Branden and Spencer noticed a little boy on the inside with a ball. He was at the window wanting to play ball with our boys. He would throw the ball out the window while our boys would pick it up and give it back so he could throw the ball again. He was so happy to be playing with our boys and had a big smile. Meanwhile several other children were at the window watching the boys play and watching us with great couriosity. We wanted to grab him and take him with us.

We presented our Wal-Mart gifts to the director of the orphanage. She allowed us to see other parts of the orphanage with the condition that we not take any photos. We visited the same second floor nursery where XiYue was brought as an infant after being found abandoned in a narrow but crowded street where she was sure to be found. There were about 12 or so babies currently in this nursery. They did not appear to be in good health and were just clinging on to life. Many had cleft palates or other conditions. We were able to view each baby and look into its eyes. There was a special spirit about each one fighting to live. It was impossible to leave this room where XiYue was brought and which currently has many others without being deeply touched at to each one's uniqueness and unsure future.



Orphanage - area where we met care-takers

We were able to visit the first floor room directly under the nursery where XiYue was allowed to spend much of her time playing. As we entered this room there were so many children that came over to the door enthrawled by the rare site of visitors. XiYue was allowed to walk into the room and was met by many of her friends. Many of them came up to us and grabbed our pants or reached out wanting to be held. Again, it was impossible to witness this room with all these babies and not be deeply touched. It was hard to walk away not knowing what the future held for each one. It was also hard to walk away and not be able to do more for them. Our meager Wal-Mart gifts seem to melt away into insignificance as we witnessed so great a need. It is really hard when your heart has so much more capacity than your wallet.



The director then took us further inside and showed us where foster parents lived. These foster parents take care of the children as they get a little older and can start attending school. For this service the government pays them.


 



Orphanage - area where we met care-takers



This concluded our tour of the orphanage. Even though it was shorter than we desired we appreciated it very much. On the grounds in front of the orphanage you could hear lots and lots of children. They encouraged us to write and share photos with them as XiYue grows up in America as well as send what donations we can.

We felt a range of emotions throughout this visit. On one hand we felt so blessed that XiYue was healthy and survived the first 17 months and that she is ours. On the other hand we witnessed a need so great it was difficult to comprehend even to the point of feeling guilty that we are able to enjoy so much. It is a real eye opener to see so many infants, toddlers, and children with special spirits yet whose future is very uncertain. The workers here are true angels who spend their lives doing what they can to help each child.



Place of abandonement - family photo

After our visit we desired to see the place where XiYue was abandoned. It was about 20 or so minutes from the orphanage on a narrow but busy street. The width of the street was about sixteen feet wide and full of people, bicycles, motorcycles, and cars. It's amazing that anyone can get where they want to go it is so congested. The entire length of this street that goes on for several blocks, was lined with small shops any where from about 6 - 12 feet wide. Many were in good repair but most were run down. Walking this street with our children was a little scary - good thing we had our guide and driver. It seemed there was everything for sale – fruit and vegetables, clothes, cooked food, cosmetics, bicycles, pottery, etc. XiYue was left in front of a small restuarant where a policeman found her. This location was chosen undoubtedly because it was off the main street but was very busy with people who would find her.




 



Place of abandonement - left of this restaurant



We reflected on what would cause a mother (or father) to abandon their child. It is probably one or a combination of reasons. First, there is the one child policy. If you have a second child you are financially penalized. Our first guide was "a second child" which his parents decided to keep. For this decision his parents had to pay a year's worth of earnings to the government. Another reason could be that XiYue had Meningocile. It is a good bet the parents didn't know what to do with her or couldn't afford to give her medical attention. Maybe the mother wanted to keep the child but the father insisted in giving her up. Or it could be that the mother was single and didn't have the means to take care of XiYue. Our minds will continue to wonder on the state of XiYue's parents and reasons she was abandoned. One thing is for sure, XiYue was cared enough for that she was left on this street alive in the hopes that she would be discovered and taken to an orphanage. For this we will always thank her parent(s).








The Great Pavilion - outside



Once we were satisfied with where XiYue was abandoned we were driven over to one of the historical sites called The Great Pavilion. It has been rebuilt 29 times over the centuries due to several reasons for destruction including fire and war. This pavilion was build by the emperor as a place to see plays performed. It is about six stories high - actually more like 12 due to the height of the ceilings. The decor is amazingly detailed and there were many murals painted on the walls. We were told that this pavilion has become famous because of the essays of Lin Chuan.



The Great Pavilion - decor

After lunch we had to take two taxis back to the hotel so we split up - boys and girls. On the way back the girl's taxi was run into by a bicyclist. Now for a note on the driving conditions here in China. This is not the place where pedestrians have right-of-way. In fact, there is no such thing as right-of-way in China. The predominant rule of the road is "me first". Although there are some traffic rules like stop lights most of what we call rules don't exist or aren't observed. Pedestrians, motor bikes, bicycles, cars, and busses all share the same road space. Westerner's have a comfort level of perhaps 3-4 feet. Here the comfort level is just a few inches. I can't tell you how many times we thought our driver was going to mow down a whole row of people. Even driving the wrong way is allowed if it's what is needed to make progress. J-walking is a part of life. And the horn - the horn is a continuous conversation between your driver and everyone else. No one in China is alarmed or upset about a horn blast. In short, there is no such thing as courtesy. If a westerner were to drive here they would get nowhere because they are too polite and have a "Pedestrian first" attitude. It is so intense that the drivers do not use their cell phones while driving and we always have a dedicated driver in addition to our guide since they both couldn't be done at the same time. On the other, hand people here are not easily upset about being honked at or narrowly remaining alive. I even saw a woman, whom our driver laid on the horn against, in the middle of the road looking down at what she was knitting while the taxi passed. Somehow, and we haven't figured this out, we have only seen one accident. Even though it is total chaos on the roads there are amazingly few accidents. If this were to happen on America's roadways there would be total anarchy as the disease of road rage quickly spread. We must admit they are good at getting around.

First Contact (email written by Nathan)

View from the Civil Affairs Office

Monday 25Oct2010 started with lots of anticipation.  We were all very excited and full of a range of emotions.  After breakfast we crossed the street to the Civil Affairs Office located on the 26th floor.  We arrived before Jessa did as she was stuck in traffic.  It's hard to describe the range of emotions we all felt as we waited for our child to come down the hallway and through the door.

View from the Civil Affairs Office

When she finally did arrive she was not happy.  She was crying with a set of powerful lungs. Gwenn held her first.  After several minutes of continuous crying our guide needed to explain some things to Gwenn about her diet and daily routine so I held Jessa.  Of course, having weird looking people hold her probably added to her fear and anger.  After more continuous crying she threw up all over my shirt - I think she had formula for breakfast :-).  Once this happened I knew she was our child since all my children have thrown up on me.  We packed an extra set of clothes for Jessa but not for me.  I had to wash my shirt off as best I could.  Our paper work was postponed until later so I could get cleaned up.

We took Jessa back to our hotel room where we gave her a bath.  She loved taking a bath in the warm water.  In our room, our guide helped us complete yet a different set of paper work signed with our signature and fingerprints.

At 2:30 PM we went back over to the Civil Affairs Office with Jessa leaving our children in the hotel room.  This time she did not cry but was very interested in what was going on.  To our surprise the anticipated four hours of paper work actually only took about 30 minutes.  After the director of Civil Affairs approved our adoption they issued us an adoption certificate.  Next, we drove to the Notary Office to fill out more paper work.  We returned to the hotel much relieved to find our children still there and alive.

In the evening, Jessa was calm enough to start walking around the hotel room.  At first we held her hands but then we walked on her own.  It appears that her special condition meningocile has not affected her ability to walk which is a huge relief to us.  In fact, we can't detect any negative effects from this condition during the first day.

It has really helped having our children here as each one can take a turn with her.  Jessa is also used to having noisy surroundings and seeing lots of faces.  It has helped the bonding process to have our children interact with her during this transition period.